So my wife and I just returned from what was to be a romantic getaway to Desire and I thought I would write up my own personal trip report from our point of view. There are a number of other Hedo Vs. Desire reports and they should be taken as just personal preference reviews just as this one is. I have seen a number of flames in response to other reviews and I’m not trying to say one resort is better than another, they both have areas of improvement and both have things that are unique and very nice.
What we like about Desire
The Beds- All along the short strip of the desire beach are real beds, albeit kinda plastic mattresses covered by a sheet, but they are beds with drapping curtains, the hanging beds on the second row were actually our favorite as they moved and rocked in the wind, ind of a hammock effect but with more support. The best of both worlds. The nice beds are on the South half of the beach which are reserved for people upgrading to the passion suites, so if you are not in a passion suite you will have the lesser beds on the North end which is father from the pool, but still close to two bars. Plus if you want to be more secluded the lesser beds are the way to go anyway because if you hang out by the pool they have music blaring and staff running around trying to get you to play games anyway.
The Staff- For the most part the staff was terrific and will laugh and joke with you and make sure you are having a good time. We were impressed by the level of service and attention to detail that most of the bar staff exhibited. Carlos was our favorite bartender and really went out of his way whenever we saw him. The event staff is also not terribly pushy. Sure they will approach you to play games (a lot) and might grab your arm to drag you up, but if you don’t want to go they will let it be and won’t make a spectacle until you go up like at Hedo.
Resort accessibility- The trip from the airport was short, 20 minutes and BAM, if you book an early flight out you can be at the resort sipping wine by lunch time. The roads are real roads and we never once feared for our lives like on the island. We even rented a car to drive into town for shopping, which I was firmly against before flying down, but after seeing how much like US roads everything was we decided to make a go for it and rented a car. Be aware that apparently he police just drive around with their lights on up and down the highway for no apparent reason, almost had a heart attack a number of times when I saw lights behind me, but they just drive along like that, perhaps for speed control, don’t know for sure, we didn’t want to stop one to ask ;-)
Couples only- yes this was nice not having to deal with Vinnies or the Captain watching everything you do, now you have couples sitting in the corner watching everything you do. It’s the same kind of. But different if you know what I mean?
What we did NOT like about desire
Airport Transfer- We went ahead and purchased the airport transfer at the time of booking direct from the resort. After doing some research we saw that the cost of a cab to and from was about the same and decided it would be nice to just step out of the airport and have a ride waiting for us. Quick heads up, if you do this have a printed copy of your voucher with you at the airport. After we made it through customs we knew to head straight outside for rides, when we got there we found our ride was NOT there. Here’s the thing, if your ride is there with a sign with your name on it, we think it is probably smooth sailing. But since we were stood up we had no idea what was going on and if you stand there for more than a few minutes its worse than being inside with the time share people as the cabbies will circle you like vultures and will tell you anything to get you to pay for a ride to the resort. I did not have a printed copy of my voucher with me and it was looking bleak, luckily one of the airport staff gave us the local number of the resort and we called and a ride was sent out to pick us up. Standard CDMA phone service is available there (roaming rates apply). And after an hour we had a van there to pick us up. Have EVERYTHING printed out in hardcopy, as data service on my blackberry was horrible in Mexico.
Pretrip questions went unanswered- We sent a few questions over to the resort via the web page about various amenities, such as internet access etc, but received no response to our inquiries. Also no pretrip package was received like Superclubs. We had an email receipt that we had paid for the vacation but unlike Hedo you will not receive a cool little welcome package or anything in the mail prior to your trip. So as stated above, have everything you DO have printed out, just in case.
The Bugs- the resort is nestled way back off the highway, surrounded by lakes which are infested with crocodiles. We kept looking for crocs past al of the signs telling us not to feed them! There were also a lot of standing pools of water along the roadway, and what breeds in standing water? Mosquitoes! OMG the bugs at the resort were so bad. Within ten minutes of going out to the beach both of us were covered in bites, before we even knew we needed to cover ourselves with Off. During our trip we sprayed each other from head to toe several times a day plus spraying down our bed and pretty much most of the room each night. We went through two family sized bottles of Deep woods Off. Even with this, we were covered by bites by the end of the trip. And pay heed to the “stay off the grass” signs. I cut through the grass the first night and ended up with swollen feet from the number of chigger bites I received. So much so that I could not wear my sandals for the first day until the bites went down.
The rooms- While the rooms themselves are not small or poorly furnished, the lighting was horrific. Sure it is dark and romantic, but in the bathrooms it was so dark we could not see to get ready to go out. The showers we freezing most of the time, with sudden bursts of hot water that would last a few minutes then back to freezing. The humidity was so bad that the room just wreaked of mold. All of our cloths smelled like mold by the end of our trip, even the items we never got to wear. So a quick word of warning don’t pack anything extremely nice because there is a danger that it will grow mold by the end of your trip.
The Bar- Sure its all inclusive, but unless you are keen on drinking rot gut it’s not the best deal in town. Hedo offers top shelf items and a wide variety, After a couple of days of drinking the same drink over and over you start to realize how important a wider range at the bar is. If you’re into jack and coke well your set. Thankfully, we made it into town and bought some of our own booze to enjoy, which does kind of negate the all inclusiveness at the bar! Also the bar staff was not very knowledgeable on how to mix drinks with what they had, if your not having a margarita, your sunk. We ordered a coconut rum and coke one night and I watched the bartender pour from four different bottles into the glass. Las time I checked coconut rum and coke only had two ingredients. What showed up was undrinkable. And this was not the only instance of this occurring, we got the wrong drinks all week long. It kind of turned into a funny game of Russian roulette.
Hygiene – There are no sign in the bathroom asking staff to wash their hands, and one time I was in line for the urinal and watched one of the bartenders go straight from tapping his willie, right past us and straight to scooping ice into a cup for someone at the bar. No stops at the sink I between. Also the bars on the beech and at the Jacuzzi do not have dishwashers, nor does the one in the middle of the resort where they only use a small rinser to rinse a glass before reuse. One night the Jacuzzi ran out of glasses and they were literally just pulling drink cups out of people’s hands, lightly rinsing and reusing them. When we visited Ibiza a couple of years ago there was an alert posted about an outbreak of herpes due to bar staff improperly washing glass wear. The alert told us to always get a straw at the bar. To Desire’s credit they always had straws available and we ALWAYS asked for one. If your germaphobic, or have ever taken biology you WILL be freaked out!
The dress codes- WTF seriously your at a HOT (temperature wise) resort that offers clothing optional EVERYWHERE. What is the deal with the dress code requiring dress pants and shoes at every restaurant? It was ridiculous that we could not wear nice shorts or pants with sandals in to eat. And if you don’t meet the dress code there is no place for you to eat at unless you order room service. Luckily I packed one pair of pants so I was able to get in each night but felt it was the dumbest requirement at the resort. It was actually insulting because the outfits I packed were far more GQ than the cargo pants I was forced to wear out to eat.
The food – How many times did we hear before the trip that the food at desire was better than hedo? Hundreds. If you like fried fatty food you will be in love. There are three places to eat dinner at and only one place to have lunch and one place to have breakfast. The best we found was the Japanese themed restaurant. It offered the only food that was not dripping grease. And a quick heads up you do need to make a reservation for the steakhouse portion o the Japanese grill as they can only accommodate three couples for dinner each night. At Hedo you had one main buffet you could go to if you did not want to do the restaurants and if they had one item you liked you could load up on that. Desire has found a good way to limit the costs of feeding guests by forcing you to eat at a restaurant without a buffet and most of what they offer you can only get one portion of. When you go into a restaurant your room number is taken down and you are seated and must order from a menu, which is fine and good, but does put a cap on the let yourself go wild atmosphere you get with hedo. And if you don’t like what you get at the restaurant, well your screwed until you can order a pizza at the over night bar which starts serving late at night.
The resort- While the design and feel of the resort is great, it is very small, ¼ the size of hedo. If you like to lay and read you are good, as there are not really any other events to do. If you want to swim at the pool you will be subjected to loud music and games. Its that or nude volleyball or the book, so pack a good one! The beach is ok, not really the worst, but not really the best. Each day the beach staff rakes all of the trash that washes ashore into small piles on the peach to be collected. Which is great, except they do not collect the piles until late in the day, so for the majority of the time you step out of your bed and are faced by a row of plastic bottles piled up in seaweed along the beach. Not really the best spot for a holiday photo. The fitness center is much much smaller than Hedos if you want to get in a work out, which we do religiously, and the equipment was largely in disrepair. Basically, there is a very set schedule at Desire that we felt was restrictive and its this:
Wake up till 3pm (lay there, do nothing, do more nothing)
3-7 go to the Jacuzzi and flounder amongst everyone else at the resort while trying to get a drink
7-11 eat then watch the weirdest most laughable between events entertainment in the main bar area, seriously it was like watching a surreal magic act, except they were serious and most nights it was a bad 70’s rock cover band
11-2 Disco- what can I say. Small disco but it’s the only place on the resort that serves Milagro.
If your lucky there’s and after 2, if not you can get a pizza and watch the raccoons and stray cats raid the trash cans around the resort (there are a lot of random animals which will come onto the resort at night in search of food, don’t get too drunk and try to pet one of them they are aggressive)
The Hot Tub – Sure there’s a strange foam that floats on top of the hedo hot tub by 3AM but that is because there is room for a strange foam to float. The Desire hot tub is smaller and every couple in the resort will cram into it between 3-7. If you are claustrophobic, you do not want this. Seriously, everything is going on in that water. And I would argue with anyone about which one is cleaner. It’s a toss up for sure. The desire hot tub though is chlorinated beyond belief. We went up between hours to just enjoy the hot water one time and our eyes started burning after just a couple of minutes from the chlorine levels. Also the water level was actually BELOW the jets in the hot tub, which will tell you about how many people they cram in there to raise the water level up that much. If you don’t want to touch other peoples junk, you can’t get into the hot tub. More than one occasion we heard people excusing themselves for groping other men by mistake. Imagine being next to the stage at your favorite band and all the pushiness and jostling. Now imagine that Band liked to play in a hot tub. The pumps running the hot tub are also a horrible racket it was hard to hear anything over the screech and squeal of the hot tub pumps running below.
Kids? – yes kids are not allowed to come with guests, but apparently there is a bring your kids to work day in Mexico as well, as we heard children playing behind the grill on a couple of occasions.. talk about being weirded out.
Smoking – Ok not wanting to sound like a smoking Nazi, but we don’t, and it actually really turns us off. But There is a LOT of smoking that goes on there so if you are allergic like me, always figure out where up wind is and reserve your seats there.
No tipping – My butt! So you do not HAVE to tip, you will still get service if you don’t tip, but it is highly encouraged and put out there very blatantly. Each bar has tip baskets, everyone who does anything for you will hang out for a few seconds for their tip, even the guy who just walks you to your seat at dinner. Luckily, I brought $100 in ones and $300 in fives which served us very well for the trip. Once again you don’t HAVE to tip, and a lot of time there is an air of a bunch of old white guys trying to show off by tipping in front of other people, but there is also no real feeling of, hey this is all inclusive you don’t have to think just enjoy that one gets on the island.
In general, it’s a fine fine looking resort and has certainly garnered a number of return visitors, many of whom said they would never try hedo just because they heard it is a frat party. Well yeah it does have a different atmosphere. But that should also be cherished for what it can offer. Both places have pluses and minuses, I offered more minuses in my review because for me there really were more minuses in my column. For the money spent there are better places to go that offer the same ambiance. The people were terribly friendly that we met (you get that at both resorts) but keep in mind the average age is approaching 50’s and up. My wife and I are in our early 30s and have come to the realization that most couples are either not secure enough for this kind of adventure or are not financially able to take a trip like hedo or desire until you get into a certain age bracket, that’s life. I’m NOT saying anything negative about the company, there are a lot of sexy ladies at desire, just saying if you are looking for a Wild-On crowd, this is NOT spring break.
To the big question, would we consider a return trip to Desire. It’s a difficult question to answer but probably not. There are a lot of other resorts for us to try out in this genre and unlike many of the other guests we actually mix up out wild trips with real life vacations to places over seas where we keep our garments on and visit the sites. With that in mind I could see a short, maybe three day visit far off in the future, if we were strapped for time, since you can make it to the resort from the middle of the states in one morning. But the general answer is no we will probably not grace their beaches with our presence again.
